inspirethefire | VOICE MAIL

[Honestly, for how well this hiding away business was working out, he may as well have stayed in his room. What was so hard about being left alone to rust?

Even he had to admit at this point that hiding in a broom closet was pretty pathetic, but it felt fitting for a pathetic person. Rather than come forward and address the issue properly, Hajime simply kept quiet in his little corner and waited for Zero to get annoyed and leave.]

[Yeah, it sure was annoying being met with silence. Maybe now Zero knew what it felt like for anyone who tried to carry a conversation with him.]

You can't hide from this forever.

[Of course, his first response was stern. Even when spoken out of concern, Zero's tone hid no harshness. It sounded like it would've easily been the beginning of a grim and disappointed lecture, but he held back. Maybe if he was speaking to a soldier, this severity would have its place. But Zero had to remind himself that for all of Hajime's big talk, he was still a student. A civilian who was in way over his head.

And Zero's tools for dealing with anyone civilian was considerably more limited. He could open the door - hell, he could rip the door right off its hinges - but what would the application of force actually accomplish? Apart from forcing Hajime out from his hiding place, Zero had no real way of calming or comforting him.

There was a long silence before Zero gave a worried, tired sigh.] Hajime...

It's... not that bad. [The words felt awkward as they stumbled off his tongue and he knew it. Hardly very convincing.]

[With sharp hearing, Zero might have heard a faint noise, a humorless huff, on the other side of the door. It was all the response he'd get.]

[Okay, that clearly wasn't going to work. What if he approached it logically instead?]

It's possible to reverse the condition... provided that Eggman's technology can be salvaged.

[He'd seen the same thing happen to students before, and they'd reacted pretty poorly then, too. But it may have been cold comfort - after all, they had destroyed Eggman's works with the intention that his abhorrent inventions could never be used again. And here Hajime now relied on it to turn human again.]

But... you should still run a system diagnostic on this body.

[Just to make sure nothing was wrong with him. Well, more wrong. There was a pause, before his voice turnes into a low mutter. Like he was talking to someone else.]

...Yeah, he is. If you can. Just make sure he's okay.

[With that, a shimmering orb of light floated intangibly through the door, and into Hajime's broom closet. A cyberspace entity knew no walls, after all. It might've seemed like Hajime's optic sensors were malfunctioning at first - this ball of sparkles gave off no real light - but the image manifested into what looked like a tiny fairy. A little digital soul.]

Hi!

Edited (typo) 2015-03-13 15:58 (UTC)

[Having not been paying the closest attention, head against the hard joints of his knees, Hajime at first thought the light was Zero finally opening the door. In bleary resignation, he lifted his head, then jerked to attention at the sight of the little, digital spirit.

He'd caught a glimpse of something, near Zero before, but he'd been too distraught to process in the midst of... well, everything.

Still, he didn't say anything, curled in his corner, though now it came partially from the surprise. One metal hand twitched in a small little wave back.]

[There was child-like glee in her voice as she bobbed up and down in the air. To be able to interact with anyone was always a giddy experience for her, considering so few could actually detect her. But it was especially exciting to be able to talk to someone she was previously invisible to.]

You can see me now! You couldn't before. I could see you though, so it feels like I already know you!

[She floated over to his hand and landed on the tips of his fingers. While she had no weight, the aura of her presence still prickled Hajime's sensors.]

My name is Croire. It's nice to meet you properly, Hajime. Thank you for being Zero's friend.

Edited 2015-03-13 20:00 (UTC)

[His fingers tingled underneath her, a distant static of presence. In spite of that, she was undeniably there, all energy and enthusiasm and life, digital but no less real for it.

A lot of things needed to process in a very short span of time. Aside from her existence, the fact that she knew him already and he'd not seen her, not even been aware. She'd seen him with Zero, heard the sort of things he'd said to him.

He sagged again. So she knew the kind of person he was. Her calling them friends... surely that was a dig.]

Okay. I deserve that.

[Pressing his back to the wall, he focused on the bottles of cleaner instead. The sort of things she must have seen from him, without him knowing... he could imagine the impression she'd gotten.]

I wish you could have seen the better side of me. But this is more honest, I guess.

Better side? What do you mean, Hajime?

[Perhaps she was too innocent to understand the impact of robotic bigotry, or perhaps she simply preferred to see the best in people. But Croire had been earnest in her words, and she floated up to perch on Hajime's forehead in curiosity, once again in his field of vision. She did like attention whenever she could get it.]

Do you mean because you were sad? And angry? But, Zero told me you felt that way because you were a good person...

[Being so entrenched in self-loathing made it easier to assume even the most genuine affection served only to disguise the disgust everyone surely felt. Even though she radiated pure acceptance, he had to figure he wasn't all that good at reading digital souls yet anyway. He must be seeing her wrong--until now, he hadn't seen her at all.]

I wanted to be a good person. I thought I was one... but I hurt people. I hurt them while thinking it was the right thing.

[Zero probably had to make a lot of excuses for him. After all they'd said to one another, surely it took a lot of justification to stick around. Maybe Zero felt responsible? He shouldn't.]

I don't know what I am anymore. Not good, and not a person.

Hmm? But... if you feel bad for doing something wrong when you were trying to do something right... that means you're still good. You just made a mistake.

[It was flawless logic. The reasoning was, perhaps, a little overly simplistic, but it reflected what she understood of people.

Zero was burdened with many bad things, lots of things that she wasn't sure she fully comprehended. When he made mistakes, thousands - sometimes millions of people suffered because of his failure. But he constantly strove forward to make up for it somehow, even if it felt futile. Zero was a good person, she was sure of it.]

You both have good hearts. That's why he's worried about you.

It, it's not that easy. I can't just... I can't just keep saying I'm still good, just because I feel bad. That doesn't make up for, for everything that...

[He pulled his knees in tighter.]

Zero... he tried to warn me. I didn't listen. I didn't trust him. He shouldn't be stuck with my mess because of that.

Then move forward until you can. That's what we do. You can't fix anything cooped up like this!

[Speaking of which, Croire was supposed to check up on Hajime's systems to make sure everything was in working order. She drifted off his head until she was hovering right in front of him.]

Even if he seems scary, Zero's already forgiven you, Hajime. That's why he told me to take care of you.

[Then, the little ball of light that was Croire flew into Hajime's chest, seemingly dissolving inside him. Her spirit touched his from beyond the physical form, tapping into his innate connection to cyberspace in order to magnify his power with hers. Immediately, a newfound boost of vitality surged through Hajime. Her aura enhanced his body's physical capabilities with almost instant optimization as she combed through the data that flowed through him.

It had only been a few years about that cyber-elf technology was so limited that using an elf's power meant expending their life energy entirely. Their very creation was tied to sacrifice. Yet even now, with the expanse of Croire's abilities removing the need to spend her life, her spirit still shone with selflessness and acceptance.

Her voice was a chime from inside him.] Running diagnostic. Please excuse me!

Whaa^{aa^aaaaauuh??}

[His whole being buzzed with her integration, energy coursing through him via her presence. It should have felt invasive, an unfamiliar being directly phasing into him and filling him with her own power, but it simply felt... more.

In that moment, he could catch a glimpse of the proper potential this body offered him; its strength, its energy, its resources. For what limits he'd lost, new ones had been pushed back entirely.]

Croire... wh^{at are y}ou... h-hang on a _sec...

[As a brand new model, Hajime's systems were largely in working order, though running at a reduced capacity. His refusal to sleep had stretched his energy resources and processing power to a minimum, and he'd strained a his joints a little through unfamiliarity--nothing to cause a problem yet, but something to be mindful of. His processors were strained from catching themselves in a looping paradox of intent and result, occupying themselves from any further integration.]

[While she couldn't refill his energy, Croire could fix the processor strain. As a cyberspace entity, she could rewrite certain bits of code, essentially reprogramming reality itself - albeit on a small scale. Perhaps it would be enough to free up the computing power to help push him out of this self-fueling logic loop he'd trapped himself in. Of course, it was out of her power to alter his actual thinking. That was still something Hajime had to choose for himself.]

Hajime, I've optimized your processor, but I recommend you recharge soon. If you'd like, I can induce dreamlessness by limiting your background memory processing in sleep mode. Otherwise, you may run out of power.

[It wass hard to place exactly what that shift did, but he could undeniably feel it: something opening up, with nothing quite right in organic biology to quantify it. Maybe finally releasing a buildup of gas, but that didn't... that didn't feel right.]

Aaah... That's... I d^{on'^turrk}

[His processors whirred as the pressure released. Yeah. Like a roboburp.]

U-um. I don't like... I mean, shutting down, or... or whatever to call it... I... it doesn't feel right.

[Hajime didn't like sleeping? That was pretty weird. Maybe it was because he didn't like the vulnerability of being shut off?]

Hm? Don't worry! I won't let anything happen to you while you're asleep!

Here, let me help you do it!

[CROIRE NO]

N-no! No, please don't, it--I don't... it, it feels... it feels like I... I'm just gone, while... and it...

It scares me.

But if you don't sleep, you'll run out of power and shut down for real.

[Hmmm... Oh, she had an idea! Croire floated out of Hajime's body (so tingly) and back into his frame of vision.]

I know! Zero has a recharging bed and a lot of energy crystals. You can use that!

[Oh man, give him a second, it's like he just had a go on one of those state fair foot massagers. Not bad, but intense.]

I... I don't know...

[In the dim light she cast off, he eyed the door of the closet.]

Zero... he's... your friend, right...?

Yes!

[Croire nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up.]

We've been together since Dr. Ciel completed developing me. He raised me and named me. He says Croire means 'to believe.' Isn't it a good name?

[Well, she certainly didn't take after his personality.]

Yes.... that's a wonderful name.

[It certainly made it hard for him to imagine her being there in some of their past conversations. They certainly made for an interesting pair.]

Did you... did you know his partner?

[Croire blinked owlishly, and tilted her head.]

No... he's been gone a long time. But, if his spirit exists in cyberspace somewhere, then maybe I can still meet him one day! I'd like to. He sounds like a really nice person.

His spirit...

[Hajime went quiet for a long stretch, thinking hard on that word. Finally, he loosened his grip on his knees, just a little.]

Croire... thank you. You've been very helpful. Could you do one last thing for me?

[Oh! Excited to be able to do something else for Hajime, Croire bobbed up and down eagerly.]

Yes! I'm here to help!

...Could you go tell Zero I'm sorry?

[He knows he needs to say it himself, to his face, but... ugh. He feels like such a child.]

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